Home » Governance » Bar Talk – Heroes Championing Right to Be Foolish [column]

It has been repeatedly said that you remain a student of life until your dying breath and this was proved to us last weekend. We thought we knew all about basic, aanced and super deluxe human rights like those afforded to the likes of Dudu Manhenga who blithely walk for crimes that others serve prison terms for, yet we had never heard of the Right to be foolish.

But after reading the editorial comment in The Sunday Mail last weekend we have been educated. And suddenly a whole lot of things in life make sense. There are people whom we have previously dismissed as idiots who have changed into idols. For now we know that all the actions which we considered ill-thought and poorly aised, to be calculated moves in the battle to exercise the sacred human right to be foolish.

Just in case you too were in the dark, we have come up with a list of heroes who should be honoured for their gallant bravery in defying all laws of common sense by practising their right to be foolish in public:

Morgan Tsvangirai

Only a man exercising his right to be foolish could dream of another GNU after losing the election so dismally and failing to stop the splinter of his own party.

But the one that takes the trophy is the fact that Morgan still thinks that the people of Zimbabwe and the world should view him as a saviour, a knight in shining armour who will throw all 14 million of us on his steed and take us to an economic nirvana where beer and meat will be free.

If we were to exercise our own right to be foolish and somehow bring him into power what is he going to do differently from the first chance that he blew under the dresses of various women and cared naught for our throats? But let him dream on, he is perfectly within his rights.

Faceless thousands

There are thousands if not millions of Zimbabweans who have stopped believing in the ethics of hard work and delayed gratification. Instead they believe that all it takes is one miracle beamed their way and life will be just great. Every week they line up to buy miracle water, miracle bread, miracle oil, miracle money, miracle bricks and miracle everything. So on Friday we ignore under-capitalised industries, on Sunday we donate millions to build massive churches and on Monday we pray for jobs and a miracle to save the economy.

We must also include in this lot the regulars who would sooner contribute to the Drinkers’ Eternity Slush Fund and amass partners Thursday to Friday and wakeup on Monday with massive hangovers and empty pockets with no money for boring necessities like school fees, food, rentals and medical services.

There is also the group that lines up at fast food outlets to eat themselves into obesity and related illnesses, before buying loads of supposedly trendy junk, then claim to be unable to afford to pay for utilities and other necessities.

All these faceless thousands then line up at the loan agencies to meet those unavoidable demands and complain that things are tight.

Public corporate head honchos

No doubt these guys had it good while it lasted and they could afford to eat, drink and merry make at levels that would leave Hugh Hefner envious. We are sure that they were entitled to the belief that music would go on forever and the moment of reckoning would never come.

Otherwise how can we explain the amounts that they thought they could just cream off and get away with it? And with all the rot out in the open some of them still insist that they deserve the staggering remuneration for being in the right place at the right time, never mind anything so mundane as not having proved their worth to the nation.

We are not sure which camp here is exercising its freedom to be foolish: the salary barons (like the Tendai Mahachi-led City of Harare bunglers who refuse to resign) for their arrogant assurance that nothing will be done to them or the masses of the country for expecting someone, anyone to do something to polish the smugness off these despicable characters’ faces. After all, it looks like most of them are still rolling with laughter all the way to the bank. Only time will tell.

NGO heads and their relatives

At the usual place we have noted that civil society has been unusually reserved in vocalising the general revulsion at the mega-salaries and demanding immediate redress as is their wont when there is media coverage to be gained.

We wonder why. After all, these are the people who will rush to all tolerant media channels to whine about anything and everything while telling some embarrassingly big lies about how this or that person was done in by this or that agent.

So why this reticence now? A little bird tells us that this is because they too are salary barons who run little fiefdoms where you will not get even a single crumb unless you have turned your nose brown.

If you care to consider who they really care about, then all you need to do is think about their huge cars, huge houses, foreign trips and kids in nosh schools while over a million of the downtrodden that they claim to represent so ardently have no place to safely deposit their bodily waste.

So why should we expect them to point fingers at those who are exactly like them?

But there is little that is hidden which remains so and if they think they are immune to the kind of scrutiny that has been turned on public entity bosses, then they are perfectly entitled to practise their right to be foolish for a little while longer.

Tsikamutanda’s fools

Those who refuse to see, hear and listen until they are personally undone

The police are tired. The courts are tired. The media is tired. The public is tired. Everyone except the victims is tired of the cases of people who are abused by evil church leaders.

These include women who take off their clothes in secluded places and allow the church leader to place his reproductive organ between their legs in the name of divine intervention.

Also included are those men and women who willingly hand over cash and livestock to diviners who happen to be mostly young men who claim to have powers to cleanse evil powers that are enshrined in curiously man-made objects, usually made up of some tied up animal hide decorated with beads. It is only now that we have come to understand that we should stop berating such individuals for overburdening our justice delivery system because after all, they are only practising their right to be foolish.

Killer Zivhu

Good intentions do not necessarily lead to great ideas.

Councillor Zivhu is out to prove this point as he fervently embarks on his Chivi home-link initiative. Need we remind him that personalities of better stature and reputation than him tried that idea and came back home empty-handed after touring the globe?

He would be better aised to use available resources to sink a few boreholes and build some toilets. He can then use Skype, WhatsApp, Facebook, Viber, Linkedin and other platforms to communicate his good deeds to and bring aboard other Chivi children flung across the country and globe without spending thousands on air fares, hotel bills, visas and venue bookings.

But we cannot stop him from leading equally zealous visionaries on a fast journey to nowhere as it is their right to be foolish.

So now you know that you have the right to be foolish. But remember anything you say or do, or do not say or not do, can and will be held against you at the usual place.

Till next week, bottoms up!

Facebook: Bra Gee, Email: brageesbar@gmail.com

Source : The Herald

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