Home » General » Bar Talk – Lots of Cheer for Loaded Pockets

That is the sound of celebration at the recent good news. Starting this coming week, we will be having a ball at the usual place as regulars who are civil servants bring their backdated remuneration increase to keep the bartenders busy. With the spread of pay dates we are assured almost two weeks of civil cheer.

We always said that this liquidity crunch was the creation of some temperate party poopers. How can a country that can afford to buy so many fuel guzzlers for so many CEOs be out of cash? And now we are vindicated as the long awaited increment finally hits the bank.

Moving on, we are happy that some of our drunken mutterings have managed to force their way into the hopefully sober minds of our betters who took note and decided to act. Thank you, State Procurement Board for listening to Bar Talk and hearing our cry.

Regulars will remember that a few weeks ago we asked who will audit the auditors, if the auditors audit their own audits. So we are partially happy that the decision has been made for an independent study of the accounts of the now dingy and grey city which used to be the Sunshine City.

After all, the worms crawled out of the can a long time ago and we are sure that only a few maggots are left to be undressed by the merciless glare of the media. Surely there is nothing to beat the monster salaries, the inflated procurement and the entangled spider web of personal interest and political patronage?

Now all we want the new auditor to do is very simple. Please find the police and the prosecutor general some solid evidence to back up all the information that the tireless fourth estate has obligingly laid out for you.

What we would like is a long list of irrefutable numbers written in black and white presented to the long arms of the law so that they cannot give any further excuses for not arresting the perpetrators of these heinous crimes against the residents.

This is a matter of interest for all drinking and non-drinking citizens since we have all been forced to endure dry taps in spite of the heavy rains that pelted us over the past few months.

And then we can get more pictures for our gallery of rogues in prison garb. The country desperately needs to see a few more self-appointed ‘mighties’ jumping off and back on those hideous trucks of an indeterminate colour under the VIP escort of prison guards.

But we must say that we are not happy with other parties who insist on keeping silent and acting like we never said anything. How far is the day when we will finally hear of summons against unlicensed drivers who kill fellow road users?

We do acknowledge that it is too early to expect much progress in the prosecution of the happy offspring but we are hopeful that some progress is being made.

Meanwhile we are waiting patiently for the MP and minister who demanded all those thousands as introduction fees to be named and shamed. We pray that the day is coming and soon.

We must also put out two glasses worth of questions on how the powers that be all seem determined to turn a blind eye on the farce that they claim was an election a couple of weekends ago.

What sign are they waiting for in order to realise that they need to do something if we are to take them seriously? Should Elijah return in his fiery chariot to wake them up to the fact that no other contender could ever hope to buy more votes than the winner?

Why are they ignoring all the voices that are stridently showing that there was no election? Is it because when money talks, mere human larynxes become obsolete? Oh cry the beloved round ball.

On the other hand we are happy to announce that we are making a lot of progress with the preparation to launch the church, although for now we are waiting to see the outcome of the war of the prophets as the big guns are starting to blaze.

The newcomer seems to have caused shivers down certain spines but the old guard is not yet down and out. This can only be good news for the people as they all aim to outdo each other in ensuring prosperity for their followers.

So for now we will keep our church under wraps, just in case someone is looking for a dedicated drinker to adopt and convert. In return for a handsome benefice we will gladly undertake to urge all other drinkers to stop giving the prophet’s money to the bartender.

Speaking of that constituency, we have to wonder aloud.

Now that it looks like the Liverpudlians might run away with the cup after all, is someone beating themselves over the head for being premature?

We would like to give three cheers to ZBC for the screening of the live Parliamentary debates. It has been a long time since ZTV screened such high class entertainment.

Oh what laughter we enjoy as our politicians forget their importance and let their origins peak through the thin urbane veneers!

But even more entertaining is the bare evidence of who we should boot out, come 2018 as the only time the camera captures them is when they are clapping or booing.

Yet they never seem to be able to hold the microphone and add even a single word of edification to the debate.

The nation is watching ladies and gentlemen, and judging. You were not voted or seconded to that house to look idiotic on screen.

Perhaps ZBC TV could indulge us by cutting their interminable News Hour by half, and instead give us highlights of the best moments for the other 30 minutes. Otherwise a few employers might face unexplained afternoon absence in the work place unless they provide TV access for all employees.

Till next week, bottoms up!

Source : The Herald