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I BURIED my face in my hands in shame while watching World Cup soccer at a friend’s house last Saturday when his son, barely four, hurled expletives at his young sister for taking away his toy.

As if that was not enough, the bellicose young rascal poured tea all over the sister while throwing a tantrum.

To my chagrin, the parents continued with whatever they were doing as if nothing had happened.

My friend even boasted: “Apa ndakazvizvara sahwira. Kamufana aka hakajaidze. Hakabvumi kudhererwa nevanhukadzi.”

The mother also weighed in: “Ndizvo zvandinokadira kamwana kangu. Hakapedze nguva nekuchemedzwa nevamwe. Kanozvisorovhera matambudziko ako.”

My foot.

So this whole father figure was impressed by his young child’s virulence at the expense of morality?

“Hanzi ndakamurera mwana wangu woye, mumwe akadai sezai regondoTenzi ndaigwadama mabvi nemagokora, zuva nezuvaka kuvachengetaMambo wangu tariraiwo nhiyo yangu, nerimwe zuva ichave handiraTenzi wangu tariraiwo mhuru nyangu, nerimwe zuva ichave nhongo,” sang wordsmith Leonard Zhakata in this yesteryear hit which highlights how parents go the extra mile to unlock the best for their children on planet earth.

True to the song, it is every parent’s wish to have their children do well in life.

No one except the ill of mind wishes their children bad.

But what some parents do as a way to show love for their children is unthinkable.

It actually kills them mentally and if not stopped will leave these children with an incurable dependency syndrome.

Some girls are impregnated time and again by men of different shapes and sizes yet their parents never say anything.

Out of love they welcome the new additions to the family and continue with life as usual.

Inongori chenga ose manhanga hapana risina mhodzi.

Rachel, the biblical mother of the nations, should be weeping in her grave seeing the way some parents – in the vain hope of being viewed as modern – are being yoked into poverty by their wayward children.

They have lost millions educating people who throw this education out the window and commit to dependency as though they never went to school.

According to experts, a family refers to a group of people affiliated by consanguinity (by recognised birth), affinity (by marriage), or co-residenceshared consumption.

Members of the immediate family may include a spouse, parent, brother and sister, and son and daughter.

Members of the extended family may include grandparent, aunt, uncle, cousin, nephew and niece, or sibling-in-law.

In most societies the family is the principal institution for the socialisation of children.

As the basic unit for raising children, anthropologists most generally classify family organisation as matrifocal (a mother and her children) conjugal (a husband, his wife, and children also called nuclear family) avuncular (for example a brother, his sister, and her children) or extended family in which parents and children co-reside with other members of one parent’s family. As a unit of socialisation, the family is the object of analysis for anthropologists and sociologists of the family.

Sexual relations among the members are regulated by rules concerning incest such as the incest taboo.

One of the primary functions of the family is to produce and reproduce persons, biologically andor socially.

The family serves to locate children socially and plays a major role in their enculturation and socialisation.

From the point of view of the parent(s), the family is a “family of procreation”, the goal of which is to produce and enculturate and socialise children.

However, producing children is not the only function of the family in societies with a sexual division of labour, marriage, and the resulting relationship between two people, it is necessary for the formation of an economically productive household.

There is more to parenthood than being called daddy and mummy, most people do not know.

The distance between parents and children has to be kept wide to ensure each of the parties plays its role without affecting the other.

The family is the first social unit to which a person is introduced immediately after birth and it becomes criminal if leaders in the same take no measures to ensure young souls are able to distinguish between right and wrong.

“Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them,” says the Bible.

But some parents take no heed.

They let their children become the law unto themselves hence their constant brushes with the law later in life.

Spoilt children lie, steal and have virtually no respect becomes they were never once beaten for that and they just do not understand how dangerous it is to be untrustworthy.

Not that families should teach children to be passive, but they must be made to be able to register displeasure without a fight.

But the incident between the young boy and his sister is not isolated.

There are countless siblings who do not see eye-to-eye not because of their own making, but because their parents did not teach them the importance of living and working together as members of one family.

These are the kind of people who grow up to become individualistic because they see everyone as an enemy.

In spoilt children’s mental eyes, anyone who does not subscribe to their point of view is an enemy whose head has to be crushed like that of the biblical serpent.

The way we raise our children informs their relations with other people including relatives, schoolmates, churchmates and workmates.

At a time when corruption has made the wheels of economic development rusty, it is important to teach children at a very tender age the importance of honesty and hard work to ensure they grow up appreciating the sweetness of sweating for something.

Gentle reader, parents who do not fight hard to prevent their children from walking in the council of the wicked have had to contend with night and early morning visits from the police.

Prostitutes that find solace in breaking other people’s homes were not born like that. They were contaminated in the socialisation stage to think being a wife to one man is a sign of weakness.

But disease often visits these people and setting foot on the train of elderliness for such characters is nothing short of an empty dream.

Well-calculative people with a bright educational future sometimes end up being derided as common thieves because of want of an easy life.

Marriages are breaking up time and again due to failure by parents to regulate who their children associate with.

At workplaces, people who are not well cultured often cause problems like gossip and being untrustworthy because these fundamentals were never introduced to them during their youth.

We have moving witches in almost every social setting because people use their tongues recklessly and spoil the comfort of others through the unpalatable words they say.

Source : The Herald